Non-muslim Me and Muslim Me

Salaam alaykum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu,
After becoming muslim I adopted a muslim name as it felt right to do so. Many people grew to call me that name yet I still became used to using my non-muslim name. I became used to my family calling me by my non-muslim name as I never impressed upon them to call me my muslim name. I thought it would be too much to them. All in all I became used to living a double life. I became used to being Non-Muslim me and Muslim me.

Now I have the opportunity to abandon my non-muslim name completely and change it. Something that I have wanted to do for a long time. Something that I have spoken about doing several times. Yet now I have the opportunity to do so I am stumbling and hesitating.

Allah has given me so many things at once. Allah has answered so many duas of mine that I am speechless and dumbfound. Allah is the Most Merciful.

I am beginning to think that my hesitation is due to my limiting my Lord through my own thinking of how merciful Allah could be. I knew Allah could be merciful and that there are no bounds. But I limited Allah and now that Allah has shown me a small fraction of his mercy I am dumbfound. Limiting Allah in thinking how merciful Allah is, is surely from Shaytan, as is doubt. I really need to give Shaytan the biggest slap possible.


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